Aug 19, 2015

Up,up and away!!

 How I (sort of) conquer my fear

 Ferris wheel always bring me dreaded memories. The mere idea of being lifted up from the ground makes me cringe with anxiety.
Sembrancher from atop
I thought that I was safe from this. I was wrong.
Most of our summer vacation is spent up in the mountain. Fresh air, wild flowers and tarte aux framboises. I love being surrounded by pine trees and seeing La Catogne every morning. We would hike and pick up wild strawberries and blueberries along the way. Enjoying fresh bolets and chanterreles.

However, reaching the chalet requires taking the CarPostal or the cable car. As one of our daughters started having motion sickness, the cable car is the most sensible solution.
My first ride with the whole family though filled with angst went just fine. I was quiet all the way up, fighting fear and anxiety.
But being alone with two toddlers is a different story. I tried to be composed. "Please, sit still."  
 V E R Y.  COMPOSED. "No this thing, will not go faster." Looking straight ahead as my two girls pointed this and that. "Yes, those are cows." Chewing all my mentos so that  my system could be filled with something minty and resfreshing-a good distration for my head ache. 
At last we arrived in Medran. No dou-dou was left. No limb was stucked. But it was the longest 15 minutes or so of my life, but strangely enough, a satisfying one. I realized then, that my girls made me conquered something in me. Yes, they are definitely my strength- my courage. For me the opposite of love is not hate, it is fear. Therefore, when there is love, there is no fear.

It felt very good despite the lightheadedness. 

So even after many summers of enjoying the mountain air and eventually conquering my anxiety, forgive me Mr. Ferris but I will stay down and enjoy your wheel from the ground. F O R E V E R.

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