Just when I thought that an important aspect of my life has been sorted out, my body has gone berserk. Fatigue, body pain, and swollen joints became a part of my daily life along with pain and inflammation pills. Weight loss worried me. Then 2022 came and what I am experiencing finally has a name. Rheumatoid arthritis or RA.
Rheumatoid arthritis is a chronic inflammatory disorder and an autoimmune disease which means that the immune system attacks healthy cells in the body causing inflammation (painful swelling) in the affected areas of the body. Rheumatoid arthritis attacks the joints.
There's no cure for RA. However, physiotherapy and medication can help slow the disease progression. The latter is called anti-rheumatic drugs.
Reading thru the link my doctor gave me, RA could be caused by many factors such as stress and is hereditary. I am not good at handling stress. It seems that I wallow in it. Coupled with over/nonsense thinking my body gave up and little by little sent signs which I ignored, set aside, and completely forgotten once the pain has subsided. But it would not give up-sending pain to keep me awake at night. It prevented me from doing many activities and eventually lessen the strength of my hands and wrists. I was tired, wobbled when walking, could not stand up easily after sitting for a long period of time. I cried in silence and had dark thoughts. Thinking- what's the point of being present when my body is in pain.
I felt helpless. The thing is, I am unsure of how to handle the signals it has been sending me. Morning is a challenge. And though, I take anti-inflammatory pills, there were times that my daughters would assist me in simple tasks such as pulling my leggings up or tying my hair while my husband helped in buttoning my jeans up. And because of my fatigue and pain, I became irritable and could not sleep well. My once-a-week physiotherapy would give me relief for a short period of time.
Simple exercises and stretching became part of my morning and night routine. There are days without flares and I am grateful to be able to function better.
The first week after the diagnostic was a roller coaster of emotion. Feeling alone and depressed about what the future holds. Then regret set in --- of not being consistent on my learning brush lettering, of not finishing my letters to my nephew. How about my knitting projects? How do I garden? I should have kept on using my hands to create. I should have done that or this project, etc..etc..
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| Girl with Balloon |
Nonetheless, I want to understand my whole being. This is why I started meditating and in one of my guided meditations, Pura Rasa stated that everything in this world is energy and our thoughts and feelings are also energy. This is why I started sending positive affirmations to both body and mind.
Along with attuning to my body and mind, I talked to the Higher Up. I prayed while in bed, crying for direction, for help... that He lead me to people who can guide me in my condition. I badly needed some hope from them, that though this one is incurable, an alternative healing might be available for me. I don't want to rely on medication for my entire life which can curtail what my soul has supposed to bring forth in this life.
Then it came. He sent earth angels my way. I am amazed at how quick this positive energy came to life and materialize.
My body and mind healing begins. I am GRATEFUL.
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