A week ago, I decided to do a 3-month reset to rearrange my life, focus on being healthy and productive, and express myself through any creative channel. I then put this in writing or rather, I created an agenda and typed everything I should accomplish in a day. There it was, my weekly schedule. In this way, I was hoping to find my path. Yet while preparing this post. There are suddenly many questions popping up in my head. Am I really not on my chosen path? Because, maybe, just maybe, amidst my own troubled mind and the noise that society is filling my being with, maybe I am where I should be without fully realizing it. Always thinking that it is greener on the other side. But which other side am I looking at? Blurred and nonexistent future, fear of the unknown? Right at this moment, it feels like I am unwrapping a gift that is always there, the one I was not fully aware of, because of waiting for something else. If the path that I am yearning to discover is in front ...
The possibilities are endless. This is what I have been telling myself these past few days. Trying to make my mind and body synchronized, which is a good way if one wants to reset their life. Am I making any sense? Maybe not to you, but I fully understand myself now because it is tiring to want to change and not move an iota of muscle to make those changes. Am I procrastinating, or am I just scared to fail? Fear has been part of my life as long as I can remember, but I was able to get on with my existence. It is now on a steady course, the one I have imagined minus the aching knees and the arthritis. Not to forget the unemployment stage I am in. I thought of using it in between jobs. But got tired of shrouding my situation and used the exact word. Yes, I am unemployed, and it's getting tough to find a job. But I create... because? I am a creative being. Huh! I need to use my hands and my mind. To be able to say that, despite and in spite of; I exist, and yes, I have so many hobbies...