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Becoming

This morning, I had the privilege to stay amongst the greenery while contemplating the sky. Looking up, I could see clouds of different shapes and formations. A baby, a face etc.  Then suddenly they were all gone and the blue sky was all that was left for a brief time.  I  could stay looking up at that peaceful sky the whole morning but duty calls and various errands are to be done. My to-do list was not full this time. I remember when a friend found out that I love to prepare a to-do list, she seriously told me that people who make To-do list would have Alzheimer's. I look at her in disbelief. I did not say anything.

Not saying anything to keep the friendship and at the same time to avoid confrontation eventually caught up with me. I am losing my voice. Being silent for as long as I can remember would mean not disturbing anyone, or not causing any harm. Keeping quiet means calm and not voicing anything. Growing up, I believed that I was shy yet I found out that I was always asking questions, always on the move. Perhaps a parent's nightmare. Shyness stuck to me, I do not stir anything up and do not cause any disturbances. Nevertheless, I was aware. 

I was aware of how Ate Ping did her lettering on the cartolina.

I was aware and in awe of ate Nita's crocheting.

I was aware of my tia Cel's crocheting.

I was aware of Nanay Lily's cut flower garden.

I was aware of Nanay Manang's lemon grass scent on her hair.

Not so long ago, I questioned HIM. 
Why am I learning and acquiring this stuff?  Will I get rich at anything? Why? Why? Why?
then I chanced upon a book entitled: Your Brain on Art. The authors have mentioned the late Kurt Vonnegut's advice to a high school class:

"Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow". 

So,  I have started to do granny squares which I learned a month ago, still making my to-do list while listening to Rai Due's Alle Otto de la Sera on Genghis Khan's story in Italian. A long way to go but what an adventure, nevertheless, I am making my soul grow. One art at a time.

6/6/2024,Verjus/21h46

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