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Showing posts from December, 2022

Unfinished

Days have passed and I wonder when to write. To sit down and just write all the things that had happened during the past few days but I'm keeping it off for a long while now. It's not the lack of inspiration but there's not really an urge to share what I have in mind.  Thoughts of altogether leaving my blog entered my mind, but the need to express my feelings in writing persisted. This is a draft written in 2011.  And there are 200-something of them on the list. I want to select which ones are worth keeping and finish each and every one of them, this means sticking to my plan for writing. According to this book , one has to choose one goal at a time. Focus on just one.  But focusing on just one made me anxious about my time here.  How can I do the other things I'd like to accomplish like learn another language , have 250 subscribers on youtube by February, write a book , optimize my health , augment my earning capabilities and pass my driver's license ?  If it fe

The girl in America

She was holding onto the magnolia tree , smiling.  Looking at that polaroid photo, I thought she resembled  Sharon Cuneta .  It was my Nanay Manang, my paternal grandmother who showed me the picture. The girl was the granddaughter of her friend and was living in America . Once, she was given a blue sweater and let me try it. I itched all over. What is this sweater, I asked? It keeps one warm, she said.  In my young mind, I wanted to be that girl. She seemed so happy and contented. I also wanted to go to America. The United States . It's the only country that existed in my mind. The magnolia tree, the only tree I love.  But, the love did not persist for long because my interest turned to our  yard.  Chesa tree was fruiting, there was also jackfruit and santol , and not far was the sampalok tree. Sampaguita were everywhere and though not as big as the magnolia tree, the scent overwhelms me with joy every time I sweep the yard. The chore which I have a love-hate relationship. How

The art of listening

You have probably read about my unhurried journey to healing recently. It is an interesting phase of my life where everything seems to come together slowly. Yes, slowly but beautifully. But in the beginning, this is not how I see it. A very long time ago, I planned a lot of things and set goals that were not aligned with what my soul has been set to achieve and have. So there were so many detours, ups and downs, and goals that led me to uncertainties and it felt like I am not getting any results.  Where am I heading? In which path?  Noises. I envied people around me who seemed to have it all. The direction in life, work, finances etc.  Why? How? There are so many questions and no answers. It's when my body took charge and then the mind settled that gradually new responses came to light. Not the ones I was hoping for but nevertheless answer.   As my questioning ceased, I then began quieting my mind which is undoubtedly important. It will lead you to what your soul needs. Not wha

That which sparks joy- one fine day in autumn

It's a sunny day and though the weather is slowly changing our garden is still bursting with color. Moreover, my garden to-do list is mostly done. As I roll the lemon grass leaves to be stored for our future use, a warm feeling of joy and gratitude enveloped me. The thought of our kitchen filled with the delicious aroma of lemon grass during the winter days excites me.  That simple rolling jest, being in the moment, with no distraction only a light breeze and nature's blessing around me brings me joy . Undoubtedly, it's in simple things that we feel contented.  I'm on the right path because, for so many years, fear of the uncertain has shadowed everything in my daily life. Giving rise to stress. Paralyzing my body , figuratively, and causing me not to use my full potential as a human being. As I slowly modify my habits and introduced new ones, my attitude is steadily changing. My focus is shifting to the present moment. The HERE & NOW.  This new me is far f

Wednesday

This is not really about the famous character  originally played by Christina Ricci . Though I have watched season 1 on Netflix and my daughter was upset that I finished the last two episodes without her. So, I promised that we will watch  Season 2 together. Back to my Wednesday.  Here in Switzerland , where 22.9 % of the population speak french ,  Wednesday is translated as mercredi and they do not write the days in a capital letter . Even the dates are written differently. Date first, then the month, then finally the year. Today is 08.12.2022. Below is  a nu rsery rhyme   by   Ann Eliza Bray . Apparently, it is supposed to help children remember the days of the week. As someone who was born on a Wednesday and has a lot to learn and unlearn about woes, I am embracing a more positive connotation for it.  My Wednesday is particular because it's the day I was born. It is also when my writing and posting  are done. This might change however because I am planning to write and post m

Resetting the mind - The unhurried journey of healing

My healing is a process. An unrushed journey. Sometimes doubt creeps in and I wonder if there's progress. Yet deep within, a voice confirms that there is and there will be. Though unhurried even invisible.  And it is in this little tweaking and modifying the thoughts that are making a difference.  Those tiny habits every morning- making my bed , writing for 5 minutes , and expressing gratitude, eventually grow and lead to new ones. Every so often, the old routine finds its way, but I said it's ok. The fact that I am mindful of slipping back into the old pattern is in itself progress.  I am aware and that's good. Changing mindset  on just about anything -- relationships , finances , health ,  as a part of one's healing  is essential and is a lot of work but everything is intertwined. Refining my thoughts about money leads me to be more organized, to be more mindful, and more patient. It stirs in me to learn and create more.  There is still progress to be made. I am ta