Junk, goals and plans

The possibilities are endless. This is what I have been telling myself these past few days. Trying to make my mind and body synchronized, which is a good way if one wants to reset their life. Am I making any sense? Maybe not to you, but I fully understand myself now because it is tiring to want to change and not move an iota of muscle to make those changes. Am I procrastinating, or am I just scared to fail? Fear has been part of my life as long as I can remember, but I was able to get on with my existence. It is now on a steady course, the one I have imagined minus the aching knees and the arthritis. Not to forget the unemployment stage I am in. I thought of using it in between jobs. But got tired of shrouding my situation and used the exact word. Yes, I am unemployed, and it's getting tough to find a job. But I create... because? I am a creative being. Huh! I need to use my hands and my mind. To be able to say that, despite and in spite of; I exist, and yes, I have so many hobbies. Recently, I thought of reviving my YouTube channel. 

With this new quest in my head, I went to look for my tripod.

According to my "tribe", I am the best at putting things away, yet my tripod is safely tucked somewhere I don't even know.

So I started looking for it. First in the secretaire that belongs to Carlo's Nonno. This is where I put all my knickknacks, especially my craft and art gadgets. Looking at every drawer, didn't find it.  I stepped back and looked at the unit. And decided right then and there to organize it while still keeping in my mind the reason for this re-organizing - make a video.

First, the IKEA box - onto the dining table: the pens and coloring pens, watercolor, the boxes of papers, souvenir magazines, and maps from our trips. I have collected a lot, thinking to put them in my art journal. The art journaling this year didn't happen.

I found so many gadgets for the projects that didn't materialize, ribbons I have collected in case we needed to wrap gifts. So on and so forth. 

I look at the floor and then at the table. Seeing not the things but the plans and projects that didn't materialize. Now staring at me. These are my plans and goals, long forgotten and abandoned. How sad! Why can't I finish what I have started?  Remembering how starting enthusiastically at first and in the middle of it all, one or, in this case, I decided not to go on and tuck it away for the time being, and as hours, days, and weeks passed by, another project in mind came to life. 

Yes, the junk and goals and plans on the floor. It took me almost 3 days to sort them out. I have yet to put away the rest and use the others in my creative venture. Mind you, I have done 2 nights of art journalling, and it felt good.

Did I find my tripod? Yes, I did. Neatly tucked with my paper and craft projects in my Ikea box. Seemingly saying, I am here all along; you just need to do some clearing of your space. 

Now on with making videos!!